First of all I need to start off this post with an apology. An apology for negligence and laziness - for missing the blog update last week. You see I have had something of an increased work load this week (one of the days I wrote 16,000 words on haemorrhoids, that is not what I call a fun day) and I've been working on a couple of other projects. Such as this. But anyway those aren't excuses, those are reasons. I can't excuse my actions as I know I have a responsibility to my readers - Rich - and that he likes to read this blog. I'm sorry. I only hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and that we can move on. Also Tiller shags beavers from 10am until noon daily which is why people call him a beaver helmet. If that seemed like a slightly random go at Tiller, then I apologize, but in my defence Rich said it was the only way he'd forgive me (sorry Tiller!). Seems I am a writing whore with no integrity (like the 16,000 words on haemorrhoids wasn't proof enough of that!).
Anyway, on with the rest of the blog now that that snivelling grovelling is out of the way. The last two weeks have been good, though in places not good. The main way in which they have not been good is in the area of temperature which is starting to get a little ridiculous. We still have no heating, but now the winter frost is starting to creep up on us. It is actually genuinely colder inside now than it is outside which kind of hurts - both emotionally and my chest. This is not helped by the economy 7 heating for the water (economy shit more like!) which doesn't turn on really (the only slight downside) unless it's in a very good mood. That means that you can wake up in a freezing flat and then have to take a cold shower. Lesson learned? Don't use economy seven. And all this has meant that MOLD has come back. This is terrible news because mold has been pretty much the bane of my existence for the last 2 years at Amira Court in Bournemouth. That flat was so moldy that it was practically dissolving and by the end we were starting to get cockroaches. So you can imagine that I'm not overjoyed to see it return and I'm not sure Hannah finds it that great either. We meet again my old nemesis...
An area in which these two weeks has been good however has been the fact that a) I can walk fine again and have no physical ailments! (Other than a cold caused by aforementioned mold) and that b) this meant I could join the new gym down my road (a 'Gym Group' gym which is 24 hour and requires you to step into an futuristic air lock to get in). This is excellent news as I was starting to feel my muscles decay and I don't know who I am without the gym (that's healthy right?). It feels good to be tearing my pecs in half again, but the only downside is the fact that I'm in there all alone... You see up here in Ealing I don't have a gym buddy and I miss the camaraderie. In Bournemouth I was training with Simon, and afterward we would smoke cigars and eat KFC. When I smoke cigars in KFC on my own it just feels lame and a bit weird... I'm thinking the solution is maybe to try and 'pick up' a gym buddy by holding eye contact with the people there until they come over and talk to me. The only slight concern is that they will think I'm either starting on them or hitting on them. Or retarded.
In general actually I need a man. I have Hannah of course, and my cousins are here in London as is Hannah's sister, and Guildford is relatively near. But actually in London it's just girls and even in Guildford there are probably more girls I know than guys, so I end up looking like a gay best friend a lot of the time. I need someone to lift weights and eat meat with!
How do you pick up a man? And also what if I do and I don't like them and then want to get rid of them? I even considered joining the gym in Guildford so I could commute and train with Nathan... until I realized that idea was completely ridiculous. It's a bit like 'I Love You Man' except that I want a gym buddy not a best man. Very sad. I almost miss Goof (and I very much miss my dog). So far I haven't really made any at the gym though either as the only impact I've made was when my flies came open and I wasn't wearing any pants (long story). Luckily my dick didn't completely flop out but you could see the top of the penis and some hair which still isn't ideal. Especially as I was standing proudly with my hands on my hips underneath the pull up bar thinking people were admiring me for my muscle ups. I may well be training alone for a long time to come... Or maybe asked to leave and not come back?
Overall though the gym is good. Other cool stuff I've done lately though has been more sociable - including a very epic visit to Maidstone with Hannah, Sophie and Steph to see the filming of Take Me Out. That has to be pretty much the best thing in the world you can do on a Friday night, and it wasn't just a great opportunity to be in the presence of Paddy McGuinness, but also a fun night out that had a really good vibe. There was a compare who was actually quite funny for a change and Paddy was on fine form even when they weren't filming (I had a horrible feeling he was going to turn out to be a dick in real life but I'm happy to report he's just as awesome as you would hope). The only slight downside of this was the fact that we were sat in there for about four hours and weren't allowed to leave - even for the toilet - and that we weren't allowed drinks in thre. In that respect it was somewhat similar to a Nazi Death camp (I imagine they had dating shows at Auschwitz...). I actually drink about three pints in an hour and I get headaches if I'm away from tea for more than five minutes so by the end I felt pretty rough. The contestants were good though and we got a nice mix of weirdos and good ones, and one of the guys was friends with Harry from McFly. I also came up with a theory here - drill tips are good dressers. Makes sense right?
What they should do is to make a take me out but for gym buddies. I should write in to ITV with that idea...
The rest of the time I have been playing Sonic Generations and teaching Hannah to play it as well. It's EPIC (even if it is blatantly designed for people ten years younger than myself). We also had a visit from Hannah's friends one of the days which was very nice, and they brought lots of cards and chocolates as well as a bag of about 30 comics that I bought from Carmen's brother. Along with my now weekly trips to Forbidden Planet that's a lot of comics. Good times.
Other than that it's weird because I literally can't remember what happened. Like I've had a black out. In two weeks I've joined the gym.... and that's it? I shall try to write here on time next week to avoid missing everything out and in order to avoid the wrath or Rich. Again, I can only apologise.
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