So I woke up this morning and vaguely saw Hannah get ready for work. She expressed her dismay at the fact that I lie there for a whole hour while she gets ready and that this makes it harder for her, so I had decided I'd wake up this morning and make an effort to sit up and look active. That didn't work though sadly and I fell back asleep.
When I did get up I started working on my app - 'Your Parkour and Freerunning App'. It's a 'feature rich' parkour app that lets you look at pictures and tells you how to do freerunning. There isn't a parkour app on the market really at the moment so I'm hoping this will make me rich. I have a new get rich scheme roughly every week. That took me until about 12pm which means I'd done no work by this time.
The good news though was that at 12 Satpal arrived and like a hero from a legendary quest he came bearing fruit - the important timer part that we needed for our heating! Within hours he had fixed the heating while constantly reassuring me that it wasn't his fault it took so long. I felt kind of sad waving goodbye to Satpal as he skipped into the sunset. He was a fast friend in this new city they call London and I felt we'd built up a strong bond. I resisted the urge to ask if he wanted to go and get coffee. He could have been my man friend!
I also thought I found a man friend the other day in Sainsburies. We both scanned our items (mine was frozen peas) at the same time, and they both went 'bip' at the EXACT SAME TIME. That's actually more rare than you think. We both looked at each other and shared a moment, but I didn't think it was right to ask for his number. Did seem a little like destiny though, and I'm pretty sure he felt the same way.
This also reminds me of a relationship I have established. With the guys who run 'The Vitamin Shop' which is actually 'The Hardcore Bodybuilding Drugs' shop. It has literally every boder-line legal bodybuilding supplement in the world and even 'protein flakes' cereal. At first they told me off for taking photos in their shop (I think they thought I was the fuzz) but we soon formed a fast bond talking about supplements and me trying to promote my website to them (they were also HUGE). I asked if they had Oxavar which is a very strong supplement that's pretty sure to be banned within the next few months (I got depressed last time I took it... but it was so worth it). They said not and got very interested in my tracking down the name and manufacturer for them so they could order it in. I'm now bringing the pot into them next week - so that's basically me taking drugs to a couple of Ukranians in the shiftier part of Ealing. Sort of like dealing... Does that count as a friendship?
Jump forward twelve minutes and we're now at 2pm and I'm calling my sister for a catch up. She gives me a lot of scandalous gossip but I can't share it here I'm afraid... bad times for you! While we chat I also tidy up the house a bit - do some washing up, spray some air freshner and scrub the mould (now we have heating it shouldn't be coming back - eat that mould!). I am being accused of turning into a househusband, which is a little unsettling, but sadly it's pretty hard to argue with.
I then sit down exhausted from my Mary Poppins routine and find I have no energy or inspiration to write. I've felt drained the last few days and my theory is that I am getting woman hormones as a result of spending too much time around females and even moving in with one. This is actually something that can happen (I think), and it explains the cleaning too. So I think I may have woman hormones and that I'm currently on my period. (Unlike my sister who recently has had an implant and now can't have any periods! Lolz). I am worried that soon I might start growing breasts, but this wouldn't be entirely a bad thing. While I manage to sometimes be highly productive and write 20,000 words on feet conditions (it's happened) on other days I just feel empty and spend the days doing inane things. This is the plight of the self employed.
Time: 3.30pm. Activity: Marvelling at how the lid from my protein shaker fits exactly onto a mug I have. Why is this? Could it be that this is an optimum size and so both developers chose that size? Could it be just a FREAK coincidence? Shaken, I sit back down, but my mind wonders how this could be put to use (PROTEIN CUP!).
Time: 3.37pm. Activity: Eating a frozen pea - urgh!
Between the hours of 4 and 5.20 I then actually manage to write 5,000 words, which is very pitiful, but in my defence I have written way over board the last few days and the Parkour app is sort of productive. Because it'll earn me more money in the long run (I have earned about £25 from my keyboard app in a month).
I then give up on 'productivity' and build 'DriBuddy'. This is a device that drys clothes using essentially a hair dryer and a big bag. It's not ideal though as the thing keeps falling over and it has possible the worst design in the world. Anger ensued. DriBuddy is NOT my new man friend.
I also tried to fix the toilet. It makes a groaning noise like a dying whale and keeps the whole flat awake, and I read online I could fix it by twisting some sort of valve. I got bored of reading that paragraph and twisted everything and it stopped for about four hours before coming back with a vengance.
When Hannah gets home I cook kievs for us and pester her while she tries to work (after watching Fresh Meat). I then manage to churn out an extra 2,000 words which really means I've done way way under my minimum amount of writing for today. On the plus side though I tried a frozen pea, built the DriBuddy, learned how not to fix a toilet and found that my protein lid fits onto a mug. The day was a complete success.
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